Tuesday, May 17, 2011
God has created, within a mother and a baby, an amazingly fierce bond that develops into feelings that are stronger than I have ever felt. Some would call this something like a "maternal instinct" but really it is an act of God, who pours into a mothers heart, an extreme love for her infant. Recently I have realized how this bond changes as our children get older. I know that I am in a unique time right now with my babies, and that later in life I will look back on and try to remember the feelings I had during the infancies of my precious girls. As my 4 year old Kalena becomes more independent and more intrigued by the world around her, I feel the mother baby bond slipping into a new developed mother child bond. While the feelings are no less intense, in fact probably are increasing in intensity, it is just different.
I am going to try to describe these intense, maternal, God given, feelings of love I have had with Kalena, Sara and now Katelyn. I always want to be able to look back on this special baby time and remember these amazing feelings.
When bonded to a baby, you feel as though every part of the baby is a part of you. They are more of an extension of your own appendages rather than a separate being. When she cries, something physical happens in my heart and mind, drawing me to her with an intense desire to sooth her. Holding her close to me never feels close enough, and if I could hold her all day long I would. When she smiles and giggles, my heart fills with joy. I would sacrifice anything to keep her safe, even my own life. I wouldn't think twice before running into a burning building or into any sort of harms way to protect my baby. I often imagine the fight I would put up if any stranger tried to pull her from my arms. It would be messy, like something out of WWF. Probably the most intense feelings I have for her, is at night when i watch her sleep. my heart aches for her future to be a worshiper of our Great God. I pray with fervency that the Lord will have mercy on her and draw her into repentance and salvation.
I am so thankful for the gift God has given me in these precious little girls and I wish I could freeze time and keep them cuddled in my arms forever.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Our sweet sunshine has turned three today!!!
I didn't expect to be sad last night as I tucked Sara into bed... but kissing my little 2 year old for the last time was overwhelming. I wish I could just freeze time and have my little two year old Sara forever. All day today her little face has been proudly beaming... and she has been letting everyone know that she is now three.
Sara is such a tremendously happy little girl who is our little sunshine. She is so easy going, compliant, and always seems to have a smile on her face from the moment she wakes up till she is asleep. She has a funny personality that always has us laughing, and a sweet cuddly side that loves to snuggle everyone. Her favorite color (since she could talk) is yellow, and she has 3 yellow dresses that she constantly wanting to wear. She is always singing, and has a beautiful voice. Her favorite thing to do is play with Kalena and Katelyn who she loves so much (strawberry shortcake, my little ponies, and princesses) For her birthday today she wanted to go to the park and she wanted a banana split. G-ma is here for a visit and we had a great day with her, as well as some time with Grammy and Kristen, and some phone time with all the other grandparents, aunts and uncles. We even got a call from Great Grammy, which was very special. Kalena gave Sara a little pink star necklace that she picked out especially for Sara. This is the first time either have given a gift to the other. It was a very sweet exchange. Sara was so excited and gave Kalena a big hug and a big kiss. I wish I had video taped it. It was so sweet. I love how much they love each other!!
We will miss our sweet little two year old, but I know that this next third year with Sara Bear will be full of fun and excitement. Sara is especially looking forward to being a Cubbie in Awana, and joining the children's choir at church. We love our little sweet Sara more than words and pray constantly that she will come to know and love Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. Happy Birthday Sara!