Scruffy Skits

Kurt Gebhards our pastor and good friend introduced us to Scruffy, who is one of the "Puppets with a Heart" at http://www.amazehealingwings.com/ (by Mary Rice Hopkins).  We are so thankful to Kurt and have been so blessed by his example in using this sweet puppet. (also thankful to Kurt for creating the word "battlebeginner"........ awesomeness.  We use it all the time.  Kurtisms live on in the Lyon household :) We have so enjoyed Scruffy and exploring his heart. He has made numerous appearances in our family and at some birthday parties (it has become our 5th birthday party tradition!) Scruffy's new adventure will be traveling across the world. I am excited for him to now train the hearts of children in a different country. Here are some skits I wrote for Scruffy and the team. They are in VERY rough draft form and I am sure there are many typos.... the format is horrible too.   I will come back here and update and improve them some day when I have time.

Why do we love God? 

He made us and loves us and takes care of us

Made us- every hair on head…. knows everything about you (sad/happy…favorite food)

Loves us- Gospel (God loves us so much he made a way for us to go to Heaven with him!!

Takes care of us- think of your favorite thing in the whole wide world. God provided you with that. Think of how much he loves you to provide things like that for us. Think about eternity in heaven. It will be SOOOOO much better than your favorite things or place AND WE WILL BE THERE ENJOYING GOD FOREVER!! 

If you love WHAT GOD MADE then YOU LOVE GOD!!!

(example: if you love a painting… you would say you love that painter too!) 

SINCE we love this God so much, we want to please him! 

We want our lives to please God, but God hasn’t left us alone with no way to change our hearts from sinful to obedient.

God promises through His power to help us to change our hearts from sinfulness to obedience to Him!! Listen to what He says in 2 Peter 1:3

 “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence”

HIS POWER gives us what we need in our life for GODLINESS!! That is great news! God is so powerful and wonderful!! He also tells us we can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives us STRENGTH in our spirit! God can make our hearts very strong! 

This week we are talking about the things God gives us to help us change our hearts:

1. Prayer (hold up prayer sign); we can talk to God and ask him for help! The Holy Spirit guides our hearts when we ask for help. 

Matthew 7:7  Ask, seek, Knock and it will be given, and 

Philippians 4:13  I can do all things through Christ... by asking Christ for strength, 

Matthew 19:26  With men this is impossible but with God all things are possible.... on my own strength I can't do it but I can when I ask the Lord for help!!)

2. Scripture (hold up picture of the Bible); the Bible shows us what is right and wrong, and if we memorize it, we can become wise and fight sin.  We also learn scripture when we go to church and listen to wise teachers, and also when we study the Bible with our parents and our families. 

Psalm 119:11 “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”

Boys and girls, I have a surprise for you! I want to introduce you to my friend Scruffy.  Kids, can you help me welcome Scruffy by saying “Hello Scruffy” really LOUD!?   On the count of three lets say “HELLO SCRUFFY!” and maybe he will come out to say hello!  OK ready???  1….. 2…..3….. “Hello Scruffy!!”  (Scruffy shyly pokes his head out) 

Scruffy is a little shy and fearful. God says we never need to be afraid. Scruffy is a special puppet because we can actually see what is in his heart. Should we try it? Lets see what is in scruffy’s heart (pull out heart and inside heart is a paper that says FEAR) Scruffy is afraid!! How should scruffy change his heart? He can pray to God to change his heart and he can memorize a scripture verse! Psalms 56:3-4 When I am afraid I put my trust in You, in God who's Word I praise! 

Lets sing this song to memorize the verse!

(When I am Afraid- Ps 56:3-4 Steve Green; Hide Em In Your Heart Vol. 1)

This week we are going to explore what is in our hearts. Every day we need to train our hearts with God’s word! 

Lets see if that song helped Scruffy (pull his heart back out) LOOK BOYS AND GIRLS! Scruffy has his memory verse in his heart along with this beautiful butterfly! Now his heart is pleasing to the Lord! 

QUESTIONS and ANSWERS TO MEMORIZE from an adapted version of the Westminister Catechism (this is not the entire list.. more need to be added):

Why should we love (glorify) God? Because he loves us and takes care of us!

Who can change a sinners heart? The Holy Spirit alone. 

What does it mean to repent? To be sorry for sin, to hate and forsake it because it doesn’t please the Lord. 

Can you repent in your own power? No I can do nothing good without the help of God’s Holy Spirit. 

How do we get help from the Holy Spirit? God has told us we must pray and ask him for the Holy Spirt. 

Does God know all things? Yes; nothing can be hid from God. 

Contentment vs Complaining 

Philippians 2:14 

Scruffy: (Whispers and looking sad)

Scruffy has something he wants to tell us! His heart is sick… (Our hearts are desperately sick… Jeremiah verse) He wants us to look and see what is in his heart. [ Pull out slimy worms] Eeeeewwwwwwwwww yuckyyyyyyyyy!!! Look what is in Scruffy’s heart!!??!? It is yucky worms!! Scruffy why are there yucky worms in your heat? (scruffy whispers in ear) OHHHHH I understand Scruffy. Boys and girls, Scruffy’s mom asked him to help with the dishes. Do you know what Scruffy said? “AWWWW MOM…. I DON”T WANT TO DO THE DISHES” Scruffy was complaining!  Can anyone tell me what complaining is? Boys and girls, have you ever complained?  Scruffy told us when he complained… lets tell scruffy some of the times that we have complained. (ask the kids of some times when they have complained). 

What does the Bible say about complaining? Lets read the Bible and see what it says.  (Read out of a Bible: Philippians 2:14)

God tells us to do everything without complaining!! Who thinks that would be easy to do, raise your hand? Who thinks that is REALLY REALLY hard to do?  How can we stop ourselves from complaining??? (TRICK QUESTION… we can’t stop ourselves) 

Scurffy’s heart was YUCKY because he was complaining. How can we tell Scruffy to change his heart? There are 2 things we all need to do to change our hearts (OUR SICK AND DECEITFUL HEARTS!!!)  Can anyone guess the two things we need to do to change our hearts?  

1st thing we need to do   We need to PRAY to ask God to change our hearts! (Hold up big sign that says PRAY) How could you ask God to change your heart? What could you say? Maybe use Scruffy or a personal example of when you want to complain and what you say in your prayer to ask God to help you:
God give me strength when I have to ______   Help me not to complain, but to find something to be glad about.

2nd thing we need to do  We need to hide God’s Word in our hearts! (hold up sign with
Psalm 119:11 “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”) 

Scruffy whispers something in your ear. OH MY!!! OH WAIT BOYS AND GIRLS!!! SCRUFFY HAS A GREAT IDEA!!!   Scruffy wants to tell us his idea that will help us memorize this verse so we can hide God’s word in our hearts!! Can anyone guess Scruffy’s idea? He wants us to sing a song! Lets learn Scruffy’s favorite song about complaining!! 

READ FROM THE BIBLE: PHILIPPINES 2:14 (Extra verse 1 Peter 4:9)

SONGS:” Do everything without Complaining”  Philippians 4:13 (Steve Green “Hide em in your Heart” volume 1)

  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”  (Steve Green “Hide em in your Heart” volume 1)

How do we know that God will give us the strength to change our hearts? God promises and God never breaks a promise!! 

Check Scruffy’s heart again (MnMs!!)  When we are content, our hearts are sweet and pleasing to the Lord. Give each child an MnM :)

Truthfulness vs Lying 

Scruffy’s heart: Spiders 

OH NO boys and girls…. Scruffy is sad again today!!! Can anyone guess why Scruffy is sad? (take 3 guesses- scruffy shakes his head no- unless someone guesses it)

SCRUFFY WHISPERS IN YOUR EAR

“Oh no scruffy! Scruffy has done something wrong. Scruffy has told a lie! 

Who can tell me what a lie is? (take some responses- then tell what lying is)

Scruffy has lied.  (NEED AN INSTANCE WHEN SCRUFFY LIED) 

Lets look at Scruffy’s heart. OH NO!!! There are lots of creepy crawly spiders!!! 

Just like spiders are quiet and sneak around and try not to be caught… that is what someone who lies is like! Creepy crawly and yucky and scary!!! Can you go to sleep with a big spider on your wall above your bed or would you want to get rid of the spider?  God needs us to get rid of lies. If you tell a lie, God needs you to go back to who you lied to and tell the truth!! 

If our hearts are yucky with lies… what are the 2 things we need to do? 

1st thing we need to do   We need to PRAY to ask God to change our hearts! (Hold up big sign that says PRAY) How could you ask God to change your heart? What could you say? Maybe use Scruffy or a personal example of when you want to lie and what you say in your prayer to ask God to help you:
God give me strength when I am tempted to lie during ______   Help me not to lie but to tell the truth because I know it will make you happy!

2nd thing we need to do  We need to hide God’s Word in our hearts! (hold up sign with
Psalm 119:11 “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”) 

Scruffy whispers something in your ear. OH MY!!! OH WAIT BOYS AND GIRLS!!! SCRUFFY HAS A GREAT IDEA!!!   Scruffy wants to tell us his idea that will help us memorize this verse so we can hide God’s word in our hearts!! 

Can anyone guess Scruffy’s idea? 

He wants us to sing a song! Lets learn Scruffy’s favorite song about complaining!! 

Read from the Bible: Proverbs 12:22

“Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, But those who deal faithfully are His delight.”

Psalm 34:13 Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies

SONGS:  

Psalm 34:13 

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies  

(Steve Green “Hide em in your Heart” volume 1)

Matthew 12:34 “Out of the over flow of the heart the mouth speaks”  (Seeds Family Worship- Seeds of Praise “The Mouth”)

Forgivness vs Anger 

Hi boys and girls! It is Easter! What a wonderful day to spend together learning about God! Should we say happy Easter to Scruffy today? Lets see if we can get him to come out of his bed. Lets say “Happy Easter Scruffy!”

Oh NO!! Scruffy is sad again today! Uhhh Ohhhhh. We all sin right? Well, I think Scruffy has sinned again. Lets see what is in scruffy’s heart today! 

Oh No! Look at all these rocks in Scruffy’s heart! (Scruffy whispers in your ear) Scruffy’s brother has hit him and really hurt him. Scruffy is having a hard time forgiving his brother!! Scruffy is angry. Is anger a sin? YES, it is, isn't it? Lets help Scruffy and remind him about Forgiveness!  What does it mean to be angry? What does it mean to forgive someone? 

How are rocks like anger? When we are angry, it is like carrying around a big heavy rock. We can’t do anything well when we are carrying big heavy rocks… can we? (Hand someone a big heavy rock… then ask them if they would like to hold your sweet baby kitten (have a little beanie baby kitten) . Can they hold this very heavy rock and hold a sweet tiny baby kitten at the same time? NO Way) They need to get rid of the rock first! 

We need to get rid of our anger by forgiving others before we can do anything to please God. 

God has shown perfect forgiveness to us. How did God show that He has forgiven us of our sin? 

(Gospel- Christ Died for sin- he promises to forgive us- we should to forgive others) 

Lets help scruffy and remind him that if his heart is hard with rocks of Anger like… what are the 2 things he needs to do? 

1st thing we need to do   We need to PRAY to ask God to change our hearts! (Hold up big sign that says PRAY) How could you ask God to take anger out of your heart and give you forgiveness? What could you say? Maybe use Scruffy or a personal example of when you have anger in your heart and what you say in your prayer to ask God to help you:
God give me strength when I am angry.    Help me not to show anger but to put it out of my heart and put kindness and forgiveness in my heart! 

2nd thing we need to do  We need to hide God’s Word in our hearts! (hold up sign with
Psalm 119:11 “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”) 

Matthew 5:9

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

Boys and girls, what is the opposite of a peacemaker? Maybe a troublemaker or a battle-beginner??  God will give us blessings if we decide to be peacemakers instead of battlebeginers!! 

1 John 4:7

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God;”

Ephesians 4:32

“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” 

Song: Do to Others (Steve Green, Hide em in your Heart, Volume 1)

Obedience vs Disobedience

Hi Kids!

Who has had a great day so far? What has happened in your day/week that was really good? 

Lets praise God for all these good things that have happened today/this week! 

Scruffy is taking a nap, but he needs to wake up now. Who wants to help me wake up scruffy? Lets count to three and say “Wake up Scruffy” and see if we can wake him up. OK… wake up Scruffy on the count of three   1    2    3  “ WAKE UP SCRUFFY!!!!!”

Scruffy is soooooooo tired this morning! (scruffy gives a big yawn) Scruffy, why are you so tried? (Scruffy whispers in your ear) OHHHHHHHH I see. Last night Scruffy’s mom and dad told him to go to sleep at his bedtime…. but guess what! Scruffy did not obey them. (Scruffy whispers more in your ear) OH NO! Scruffy was jumping on his bed and playing catch with his favorite bone on his bed after his mom and dad had left his bedroom!!!!!!  They told Scruffy to go to bed, but Scruffy wanted to play instead. What is it called when you do something your parents tell you not to do, or when you don’t do something your parents tell you to do? (DISOBEDIENCE)  

Scruffy disobeyed his parents!!! What does God say in the Bible about Disobedience? (Scruffy hands you a little Bible in his mouth) Lets turn in the Bible to a special command God gives just for Children! Who here is a child? All of you can raise your hands because everyone sitting here with Scruffy and I are children, aren’t you? God has one very important message, and it is JUST FOR CHILDREN!! 

Lets look at the verse in the Bible where God is talking just to the children:  

“Ephesians 6:1 Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.”  

When we don’t obey our parents, we are not doing what is right. Our hearts have sin in them. Lets see what Scruffy’s heart looks like because he didn’t obey. (Open Scruffy’s heart- maybe bent nails? something for disobedience) Look at these bent nails in Scruffy’s heart. How are these nails like disobedience? If I took a hammer and tried to nail something, would I be able to? No!!! These nails are broken and don’t work. When our hearts are disobedient, they are also broken and don’t work. We are not able to do what we are supposed to do just like these nails can not be useful to nail some wood together. 

Lets help scruffy change his heat to be obedient and useful to God. What is the first thing we need to do if our hearts are being disobedient?  

1st thing we need to do   We need to PRAY to ask God to change our hearts! (Hold up big sign that says PRAY) How could you ask God to help you be obedient and do everything your parents say right away? What could you say? Maybe use Scruffy or a personal example of when you want to disobey, what do you say in your prayer to ask God to help you:
God give me strength to obey even when I don’t want to.    Help me not to do the wrong thing, but to obey all the way, right away and make my heart joyful when I obey. 

2nd thing we need to do  We need to hide God’s Word in our hearts! (hold up sign with
Psalm 119:11 “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”) 

Who remembers the verse Scruffy has just told us? 

Ephesians 6:1 Children Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 

Lets sing our obedience song to help us remember to always obey our parents!! 

Songs: 

Children Obey Your Parents in the Lord (Steve Green vol 1)

After song: Lets look in Scruffy’s heart and see what is in his heart now: (candy or something yummy-  it delights the Lord when we obey!) Look at how sweet and obedient Scruffy’s heart is now! 

Kindness vs Selfishness

Hello boys and girls! Today we are going to be talking about Kindness. Scruffy is excited to help us today. Can anyone think of a time when someone was kind to you? What does it look like to be kind to someone? (Sharing) Another word for kindness is SELFLESSNESS. Who can tell me the difference between selfish and selfless. Lets look at the two words in SELF ISH and SELF LESS   SELFISH means you are thinking about yourself and caring for your self above others. SELF LESS means you are caring LESS about yourself, and more about others and about God.  (Scruffy whispers something) OHHHH …. boys and girls, Scruffy wants to tell you all something. (He whispers again). Scruffy wants to tell you that he has a selfish heart right now. He was selfish with a new toy he got. His sister wanted to play with it with him…. but instead of sharing and taking turns, he said “NO, and ran away from her!!! ”  Oh no Scruffy!  Should we look and see what Scruffy’s heart looks like because he did this?? Lets look and see. (monster with angry face??) OHHHH WOW!! Boys and girls, when Scruffy’s heart is selfish look at what it looks like!! It looks like a big ugly angry monster!!! OH NO!!!!!  Do you think God likes it when Scruffy’s heart has ugly selfishness in it? WHAT SHOULD SCRUFFY DO????!!!!!!!!!!

(See if anyone can tell you the two things)

1st thing we need to do   Scruffy needs to pray and ask God to change his heart!!  (Hold up big sign that says PRAY) How could you ask God to help you be selfless and sharing and giving to others? What could you say? Maybe use Scruffy or a personal example of when you are selfish, what do you say in your prayer to ask God to help you:
God please change my heart to think of others first before my self.  Help me to please you by always sharing and giving to others. 

2nd thing we need to do  We need to hide God’s Word in our hearts! (hold up sign with
Psalm 119:11 “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”) 

Matthew 7:12 "So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets."

Lets all pray and ask God to give us kindness in our hearts. We want God to take out the selfishness! Who remembers our song about wanting to be first? Instead of wanting to be first, we need to want to serve others! Lets pray that God will help us to want to serve others. 

God help us all here today to be servants. Help us to give self-LESS-ly and to always put other people before ourself. Please help our hearts to remember our scripture verse when we are tempted to be selfish. Amen. 

Lets look now is Scruffy’s heart to see what is in it.  OH LOOOK boys and girls!!! When Scruffy’s heart is SELF LESS it is so so beautiful!!! Look at the beautiful butterfly! Scruffy’s heart is so pleasing to the Lord when he shares his toys  ISNT IT?!?!?!

Jesus’s disciples needed to learn how to be selfless one day. They were walking along the road and they were talking about which one of them was the greatest. They each thought they they were really great. Jesus interrupted them and corrected their thinking. Listen to what the Bible (Mark 9:34) says happened that day “They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the road?” 34 But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.

35 Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

God also tells about this in Proverbs. Listen to what else God says “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.” Proverbs 27:2  Selfish people like to talk about how great they are and always want to be first. Lets sing a song about what Jesus told his disciples about being a servant: 

Song: SEEDS of Courage: Servant of All 

Song References:

Steve Green vol 1: 

Psalm 34:13 Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies  

Philippians 4:13   I Can Do All Things

Philippians 2:14  Without Complaining

Matthew 7:12 Do to Others

Romans 3:23/John 3:16   For All Have Sinned

Psalms 56:3-4  When I Am Afraid

SEEDS:

(Courage)   Servant of all

(Encouragement)   Do everything in love

(Courage)  Ask Seek Knock

Fight Anger with Proverbs!

Verses to fight anger:

Proverbs 12:16 A fool’s anger is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor.

Proverbs 14:29 He who is slow to anger has great understanding, But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:18  A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, But the slow to anger calms a dispute.

Proverbs 16:32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.

Proverbs 19:11 A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.

Proverbs 19:19 A man of great anger will bear the penalty, For if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again.

Proverbs 22:24 Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man,

Proverbs 29:8 Scorners set a city aflame, But wise men turn away anger.

Proverbs 30:33 For the churning of milk produces butter, And pressing the nose brings forth blood; So the churning of anger produces strife.

Helpful Verses for Biblical Discipline

I find all these verses so helpful when dealing with my children and their different sin issues. I love my little people so much and want to be faithful to discipline diligently.   Lord give me the strength, gentleness and joy I need to point these little ones to YOU!  

Psalms 119:11

“Your word I have treasured in my heart, That I may not sin against You.”

Proverbs 13:24,

“He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.”

Proverbs 22:15 

“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” 

Verses to Discipline Children Biblically  (NASB unless otherwise noted): 

Exodus 20:15 

“Do not steal.”

Proverbs 12:22

“Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, But those who deal faithfully are His delight.”

Prov 15:1

“A gentle answer turns away wrath,

But a harsh word stirs up anger”

Proverbs 27:2

“Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;”

Matthew 5:5
"Blessed are the gentle..."

Matthew 5:9

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

Matthew 22:39 

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Luke 6:30-31

“Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back.  31 Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.”

Romans 12:21

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” 

Galatians 5:22-23 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control;…”

Ephesians 4:32

“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

Ephesians 6:2-3

“Honor your father and mother… so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.”

Philippians 2:14 

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing;”

Colossians 3:8

 “…put …aside: anger…” 

(the rest of this verse for older children “…wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth.”)

Colossians 3:12 

“… put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience…”

Colossians 3:20

“Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.”

1 Timothy 6:18

“ …be generous and ready to share,…”

Titus 2:4-5, 6 (ESV)

4 “young women … be self-controlled,…”. 6 “… younger men… be self-controlled.” 

1 Peter 4:9

“Be hospitable to one another without complaint.”

1 John 4:7

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God;”

Our relationship with God doesn’t depend on us and what we do. It is totally dependent on God’s gift of Grace to us through Jesus! 

The following are helpful verses when I explain the gospel to my little ones. 

Psalm 99:5 Exalt the LORD our God; worship at his footstool! Holy is he!

Rev 4:8 “Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!”

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, 

Romans 6:23 but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”

1 Cor 15:3 ...Christ died for sins in accordance with the Scriptures

Romans 10:9 ... if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved

Isaiah 1:18“Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool.

Psalm 30:3O Lord, you have brought up my soul from Sheol;  you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit.

Kids cooked dinner!

Tonight was the first time I was in an advisory only role during the making of dinner... the girls did it all. I was so proud of them! Waffle turkey sammies... Yum!

Christ Centered Dicipline

Christ Centered Discipline

Many of you are in the thick of disciplining your young kids right now so I want to take a moment to encourage you and give you a booster shot in the arm... to KEEP IT UP!!  It is so easy to get complacent and lazy so I have to review biblical principals of discipline myself on a regular basis. 

Discipline moments can be redeemed for the gospel. Don't be discouraged, these moments are an open door to teach your children about Christ. 

Discipling without the gospel might cause behavior changes, but is not making spiritual progress.  Think about the difference. Think about your discipline. Where does your discipline fall in.. is it gospel/Christ centered? Are you making those heart connections with your kids, or do you just want them to obey so life is easier?

Set the stage for Christ centered discipline, by having Christ in the center.  Have God be the one they are sinning against.  Have Him be the one who is rejoicing when they obey.  Guide your children on a daily basis to become more and more in love with an awesome Creator. Study your child. Find out what fascinates them. Link the fascination to such a kind and loving God who makes all these wonderful creations for us. My daughter was obsessed with ladybugs. When we ordered a ladybug farm and got ladybug larvae in the mail (yes, larvae... gross) she slept with the larvae container under her arm. This is how fascinated she was with ladybugs. I was able to show her that because she was a ladybug lover, she was really a God lover, since God created them.  Does your boy love trains? God was the mastermind... causing a man to think up the idea to build a train. Praise God for trains!  Your love for this great awesome God can be contagious to your kids. 

Naturally then, if God is so great, it begs the question: How can we please Him with our lives?  When you ask them- “do you think your behavior pleases the Lord?”  If they are in love with God, they will care about the answer they give.  If they don’t love God, they will be obeying to please you and your spouse, or for themselves in their pride. Start to re-structure your everyday language to be God centered. If you never talk about loving God, they will naturally just start to obey because they love you and it pleases you as their mom. 

Once we love Him, and ask “How can we please Him in our lives?” We can bring out the Bible and explain that God gave rules to live by that will bring blessings. (as well as learning all the other stories and truths about God to leave us awestruck!)

As soon as kids start saying sentences, they can learn verses.

Here is a list of common verses I use when disciplining my kids.

(NKJV) Philippians 2:14 Do everything without complaining or arguing 

(ESV) John 13:34 ...love one another

(ESV) 1 Thessalonians 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

(ESV) Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always

(ESV) Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers

ESV) Titus 2:5/6 Be self-controlled (Titus 2:5 addressing young woman, 2:6 addressing young men)

(NASB) Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the gentle...

(NIV) Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another... 

(ESV) Colossians 3:8- Put…away… anger (some versions say put off or put aside)

(ESV) Colossians 3:12- Put on… kindness 

* A danger with the put off – put on method... if that is all they get, their heart will never change, only their behavior. In-between put off and put on needs to come training on how to change one’s heart/mind to hate the sin and desire righteousness or else it is just a behavior change. The biblical pattern of Eph 4:22-24 is Put Off – Be Renewed in Your Mind – Put On. This puts Christ at the center of our obedience, not our own will-power to just put off – put on.

(ESV) Proverbs 15:1 A harsh word stirs up anger, a gentle answer turns away wrath. *(good for mommies too!) 

(Ex 20:15) You shall not steal.

(Prov 12:22) Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.

(ESV) Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord.

(ESV) Deuteronomy 5:16 Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in ... 

• EVERY SIN FALLS BACK TO A VERSE-  My Katie is a screen licker. She LOVES to lick the screen door. She licks up, down, sideways... its gross. The sin of habitual screen licking (since I don’t have a verse for that one ;) - falls under “Obey your parents.” Therefore I can confidently say, “Screen licking is not pleasing to God” by default because it is not obeying mommy. (This one calls for constant explanation :)

Questions: Don’t just tell your child what is right and wrong all day. Get them involved and talking about their own sin. Ask them questions. How does a teacher in a class get kids brains to open up and really start to think? Questions!! All kinds and in lots of different ways. 

Question examples:  Are you obeying or disobeying right now? What does God want you to do, obey or disobey? 

Is your heart happy or angry? 

Right now are you being a peacemaker or a troublemaker? Which one would God want you to be? Lets find out from the verse.

When you took that toy, from your sister, was that selfish or selfless?

Examples of world focused statements in discipline:  “Mommy wants you to be a generous boy” or “share so you can be nice to your friend” These statements are not “bad” but they are focused on mommy, the child and the friend. Get them focused... all day long... on God. 

Review of Spanking 

Never spank in anger.  Spanking can be damaging to your children, if done in anger. Anger is one of the biggest stumbling blocks parents face with kids. I would like to do a brief biblical counseling review on anger.  99% of anger is self focused and selfish anger. We are upset by what is causing “ME” annoyance, frustration, and extra work, rather than being more sad with our children’s sin. We should have the desire to train and instruct, rather than make sure we “make a point” and show anger so they won’t do it again. Their sin should not surprise us, we are just as sinful and children may take years to learn to love God and want to obey. Getting angry will only stir up anger in our kids (or spouse).  Steve M. says that when you are angry with your children, you cause them spiritual confusion. You are doing damage to them spiritually when you are angry, and causing them to want to imitate you. 

If you become angry with your child, confess your sin and seek forgiveness biblically, right away. It can be hard in the moment, but give a heart-felt apology with the truth that even mommy and daddy are sinners. Don’t defend yourself or explain your sin. Confess what you did and that it was wrong and then ask for forgiveness. “I’m sorry. I was wrong when I _______. Please forgive me.” This is another opportunity to share the gospel and rejoice that the Lord has saved “mommy”! Praise God! Your true repentance will help the child learn how to confess their sin and ask for forgiveness. It will give them an example of what to do when they sin. It will help clear the spiritual confusion caused by becoming angry. 

Don't stay in a pattern of anger at your children or spouse. Get help. There are vast resources in the Biblical Counseling department at NorthCreek and at the book store. There are numerous people you can call (any of us in OneLife) to hold you accountable. If you don’t fight it, the sin of anger gets bigger and bigger and you don’t want to pass it to your kids. 

*Become sad at the sin instead of angry.

Acronym for Spanking: RASPBERRY 

This is an example of a Biblically thought out way to spank your kids. This is my way, there are others out there with different ways.  My children seem to have a healthy respect for this process of discipline, and since it is done in an abundance of love and training, they are not traumatized or terrified of it. ( and neither am I :)

R- Remove- remove the child from the situation (go in another room) goes back to Mathew 18, confronting people in private- even little people

A- Acknowledge the sin- Have the child say the sin out loud or at least admit to it. (*Occasionally the entire process is halted at this point. Listen to the child. Ask questions. Don’t assume you know the entire story or why the child did what they did. Let them explain. This may not be rebellion. Instruct ignorance, discipline rebellion.)

S- Spank   Explain how many spanks they will get (we do 1-3 depending of the severity of the sin and the age of the child) This gives you accountability not to get carried away in anger and gives them security in knowing what to expect. Never leave a bruise and never break the skin. A flexible plastic material such as a fly swatter or flexible plastic ruler can give quite a sting without leaving a lasting mark. Try it on yourself first. 

(Proverbs 13:24 whoever spars the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. Proverbs 12:1 whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. ) I love Proverbs 22:15 Spanking brings wisdom and drives out foolishness. 

P- Pray- The p in raspberry is silent, and I almost forgot it... but don’t forget to pray! Pray for your little one’s heart to change and for true repentance and a heart that desires to please the Lord.  On our own, we can’t stop sinning. We need His help!!  Mathew 19:26 “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”   As they grow older, you will then hear them transition to pray for their own heart change, which is incredibly sweet!!

B- Bible Verse-  Teach them the specific Bible verses about the committed sin, and also the proverbs verses on why we need to do discipline. (Because we love them!)

E- Encourage your child!  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!”  we are going to do this... together! Mommy will help you, God will help you! 

R- Rejoice in God’s forgiveness- Another opportunity to share the gospel.  We all deserve to go to Hell as sinners, but God provided forgiveness through Jesus. What an awesome God!! What great news!

R- Review- At bedtime, go over what happened, the sin, and the verses, and/or review with Daddy when he gets home or with him before bed. (“Tell daddy about it- and tell him the verse we learned”) 

Y- Year after year.  This doesn’t happen in a year. It takes years. Don’t get discouraged. Don’t grow weary in doing good. This is what God has called you to do. 

Elize Fitzpatrick asks “Are you using life-giving words or life-taking words with your children?”  We want impart spiritual life to our kids in our everyday words. 

Chaos into Order

4 small children and one bathroom sink. You can imagine the chaos that occurs when I tell the kids to go brush their teeth.  We have started to implement something we learned from Kurt Gebhards.  It's simple but goes a long way in our everyday lives. Youngest to oldest.  It is our instinct to try to figure out who got there first or who deserves to go first, however, there is a great biblical principal we can teach to our kids in this. Older kids must see to it that their younger siblings (or friends or cousins) are cared for first before themselves. We should always put others first, especially when others may take longer than we do or need help.  The younger kids will see the example set by the older kids and do the same with other younger children they come in contact with.  It has been refreshing and peaceful to see Kalena and Sara work to see that Katie and Andrew get to go first and get the help they need, whether it's getting sox from the drawer, getting up into the car, or dishing out the first pancakes. It works well that even though Andrew will get to "go first" for the majority of his young life, at some point when he is older, we can switch to "Ladies first" :)

Interrupting

It is one of the most frustrating problems I came across with a very young child. I would be on the phone or having a conversation and my little one comes to running up "mommy ...mommy ...mommy......." It is a frustrating situation for the child and parent alike. Years ago I came across a simple solution, when I saw my good friend Julie do an amazing interaction with her small child. While she was talking to me, her child came to her and quietly put her hand on Julie's arm without a word.  Julie put her hand over the child's (to acknowledge she knows the child is there) as we continued our conversation completely uninterrupted. When Julie had finished her thought, she said to me, "excuse me one sec..." She then turned to the child waiting patiently, addressed the child's issue, and was then back to our conversation. I was shocked and wondered if that was really even possible?!  I gave it a try with Kalena and was amazed and pleased at how fast she picked it up and how often she started to remember. With consistency and loving instruction kids can really learn to be polite!  It has been years now that we have been using this simple instruction for our kids.  It has saved both us, and our kids, a lot of frustrating moments. It has also been fun to see the kids learn and be reminded from each other.  Our third child learned almost entirely from watching the older kids.

How much I would miss if I didn't have amazing godly families to learn from and the Lord being faithful to give us wisdom when we ask for it. I know I have so much more to learn and am excited to soak it all up! Lately I feel I have become complacent with asking the Lord to continue giving wisdom.     I am encouraged by James 1:5 and commit this week to ask the Lord to give me more and more wisdom as I train these treasures He has entrusted to me.

James 1:5

"But if any of you lacks wisdom, 

let him ask of God, 

who gives to all generously and without reproach, 

and it will be given to him."

Are you asking or telling?

This is for the Gebhards fans out there! Another gold nugget of parenting wisdom.

We were so excited when our first daughter Kalena could finally say "Please" and even more excited when she began stringing her words together so she could say "More please!" However, as she got older, something about the phrase "More apple juice please." didn't sit right with me and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. She is saying please, right?  Then we heard an interaction between Kurt and one of his munchies. He asked the simple question "Are you asking or telling?" It clicked right away to me that when kids say "More please" they are actually commanding the adult to get them more, even though politely asking please.  So when we hear a "More please" we re-direct the command to a question of "May I have more please?" Our kids picked up on this quickly and we can quiz them on what they have just said by asking "Are you asking mommy, or telling mommy?"  Even Katie at 2 years old can tell when she is asking or telling.  When they are older and forget, even just a pause or a "Try that again please." can remind them to ask instead of tell. 

Praise God for giving us the Bible as a guide to raise our kids, and for all the wise parents I have and continue to learn from!! 

The "Why?" Drama

This is something we learned from our pastor Kurt Gebhards (and his amazing wife Julie) and we love it. We try to encourage our kids to ask permission to ask "why" when they are asking "why" in rebellion, anger, bewilderment or any other response to our commands.  For instance, when I tell my kids it is time to go to the store and they respond "Why?"  We try to teach them that kids never have the right to demand answers from adults. They may ask if they can ask why "Mommy, may I ask why we have to go to the store now?"… and usually the answer will be yes, because we want to serve our kids by explaining things to them. However,  they shouldn't feel they have the right to an answer, and there are times when the answer is no, "I can not explain "why" to you", or "I can not explain why at the moment."   There are instances, of course, that they do not have to ask "May I ask why?", like when we are learning about something or I am teaching them something (like how to cook) and it is natural they ask why ("why do you have to beat the eggs?").  Kids learn the difference quickly between the two situations and quickly learn when they must ask if they can ask why.   It is good for them to learn to question authority with due respect, and realize they are not always entitled to answers. 

Training Toddlers Biblically

Recipe for heart change: Scripture + prayer + the Holy Spirit + consistency= a change in heart and a more sensitive conscience towards God.  We are training their conscience to be biblical. In order to do this we must use scripture and ask for help from God daily.

Specifically for 0-2 years old:

Babies are smart. As soon as they are about 1 years old (and some even before 1), they begin to learn the meaning of words. Even if they can't say the words, they can learn what words, and even big words, mean.

Some good biblical words and phrases to tech and use with young toddlers (even before they seem ready):

Anger

Good/bad (or sinful) reaction

Response 

Honoring

Happy heart

Obedience / disobedience

Patient

Gentle/ Gentleness

Harsh

Loving

Selfless/selfish

Thankful

Whining/ complaining (I use these interchangeably so they understand Philippians 2:14)

I chose some verses for my toddlers with basic easy phrases with which I can use everyday that are the exact words of scripture, and I chose the versions of translation with the easiest language for kids :

(ESV) Titus 2:5/6 Be Self-controlled (Titus 2:5 addressing young woman, 2:6 addressing young men)

(NASB) Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the gentle...

(NIV) Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another... ( When one sibling is having difficulty having patience with another sibling, I often say, "Sara, please bear with Katie." I use this biblical term which the children have learned means patience.)

(ESV) Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord.

I have Katie repeat (or I say to her) Titus 2:5 over and over during a temper tantrum and a lot of times it really helps her to calm down. We try to always accompany these verses with prayer. God's Word, and the Holy Spirit have so much power when we use them together repetitively and daily in our lives and with our kids:

We should sound like a broken record with scripture verses as we train our children.

An easy way to remember these 4 verse references (which help in many situations): 

T= Teach (Titus 2:5 and 6)

M= My (Matthew 5:5)

C= Children  (Colossians 3:13)

C= Christ  (Colossians 3:20)

Additional verses I use constantly:

(NKJV) Philippians 2:14 Do everything without complaining or arguing 

(ESV) John 13:34 ...love one another

(ESV) Psalm 9:1 I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart.

(ESV) Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always

(ESV) Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers

During Anger moments, I also sometimes use this too. 

Putt off/ Put on:

(ESV) Colossians 3:8- Put…away… anger (some versions say put off or put aside)

(ESV) Colossians 3:12- Put on… kindness

Since we can't do anything without the Lord, these verses are key too:

(ESV) Matthew 19:26 …"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

(NKJV) Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Some phrases I use starting at 1 year old (younger kids get shorter phrases or just words… older kids get longer phrases/conversations):

Katie, is your heart happy or angry? An angry heart does not honor God. Lets pray and ask God to help you change your heart.

Katie, you are having an angry heart. What is Colossians 3:8. What is Colossians 3:12. Lets pray that God will help you put on kindness.

Katie, you are having an angry heart, Say Titus 2:5 with Mommy: "Be self controlled" (say it several times) Lets pray that God will help you be self-controlled. 

Katie, thank you for calming down, God loves it when we put away anger. Your gentle and calm heart is so pleasing to God.

Katie, was that a good reaction or a bad reaction? Was your heart being sinful or obedient to God?

I know your sister hit you, but what was your reaction? Was that pleasing to the Lord?

Katie, are you obeying or disobeying. What does God want you to do, obey or disobey?

Katie, you are having a sinful reaction. You are disobeying mommy when you have a sinful reaction. 

Katie, I really loved your obedient response to mommy. Thank you for honoring God with your response. 

Katie, that was not honoring to Mommy. Can you try that again? / Can you say that again in a way that honors mommy?

Katie, are you obeying right away, all the way, with a happy heart? 

Katie, you are not obeying with a heart that pleases God, so you are not obeying. Mommy has to discipline you when you do not obey.

Katie, you did not put your shoes on right away. Mommy has to discipline you for disobedience. 

Katie, you came to the table right away when mommy asked you to. Do you know that your obedience really pleases the Lord? It makes God and Mommy so happy!!

Katie, when you took that toy, was that selfish or selfless?

Katie I saw you sharing, that means you were being selfless!

Katie, thank you for being patient! Having patients honors the Lord!

Katie, when you are not being patient, you are being angry. What does God want us to do with our anger? (put it away)

Katie, God tells us in the Bible to be gentle with others. Are you being gentle or harsh?

Katie, that was a harsh response to your brother when he messed up your tower. Please try your response again in a way that is gentle. If you are having a hard time with your brother, please come ask mommy for help with him. (Have your child say "May I have help with _____." Instead of tattling.)

Look at what a good attitude Katie is having! Look at how Katie's happy heart is honoring mommy while she cleans her toys, lets encourage Katie!! (Praise the good behavior to others in the family)

Katie, you are having a sinful reaction to bedtime. (Sometime when it is not bedtime, practice the correct reaction to the announcement of "Bedtime!")

Katie, when she took that toy did you have a loving response or an angry response? (a little bit older: What kind of response did you have?)

Katie, when you spit your food out and are crying over the peas you have to eat, you are disobeying and you are not being thankful to God for this food He has given us. 

Katie, you did not obey mommy, so I have to discipline you. 

I do not want to discipline you, but God tells me that if I love you, I must discipline you and I love you so much.

Demonstrating it in your own life is key. Beware of being a hypocrite. If you are going to use God and scripture to train your kids, put it to use in your life first.

I say these things on a regular basis:

Mommy is having a bad attitude. Mommy needs to remember what the Bible says about a bad attitude, and ask God for help. Will you pray with me that God will help mommy have a heart that pleases God? Do you remember a verse that could help Mommy right now?

Mommy was harsh to you (or Daddy :) Will you forgive me? Lets pray that Mommy can "Put on kindness". 

Mommy's heart is angry. Will you forgive Mommy's sinful heart? Mommy needs God to help, lets pray and ask God for help. 

My 4 year old notices I am beginning to lose my patients and says "Mommy, blessed are the gentle." I could ignore her, which is what I want to do in the moment… or I could say "You are right sweetie. God wants mommy to be gentle right now. Will you forgive me for being harsh? That was sinful. Lets pray that God will help mommy's heart to change and to be gentle." 

God bless you mommies!!! Be encouraged that as you practice and practice and don't give up, it gets easier and you see yourself and your children changing, growing in patience, and being sanctified with hearts that more clearly reflect the love of Christ!!! All glory to God alone!!! 

The Balance

I loved the post below, from my favorite blog Passionate Homemaking. It is from a woman named Ann Dunagan. It comes at a perfect time as I struggle through this very thing... the balancing act of caring for my family while also being involved in ministry and missions. There is no secret formula... just dependence and constant communication with the Lord. I am a new creation and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives through me. His Sprit will give me wisdom and discernment for each new day. Having a healthy world view can also help me to keep my kids from becoming an idol of my heart... millions across the glob suffer while we enjoy every comfort imaginable. Millions do not have the word of God while we enjoy every form of it. This reality can keep me sober minded and helps me keep an eternal perspective while I decide on the plan hour by hour during the day. Lord give me discernment to live a life in which you would be pleased and honored through my carful balancing of priorities.

Below excerpt by Ann Dunagen taken from Passionatehomaking.com.
"Finding God’s balance for motherhood and ministry is sometimes a difficult (and continually changing) tug-of-war; but I believe the struggle is healthy. As a homeschooling mother of seven, I place a high priority on God’s calling to care for our own children; however, I also feel a call of God’s heart for the needs of world missions. Multitudes across the globe desperately need God’s salvation and millions of orphan children are in need.

God cares about my kids and God cares about the lost. As a mission-minded mom, how can I keep these two “pulls “on my heart in balance — in a way that will truly please the heart of the Lord?

Most of the time, just doing another load of laundry, or drilling the kids on grammar, or reading a bedtime story . . . doesn’t seem very important. But God sees the big picture. He highly esteems motherhood and He values a faithful mom who is willing to lay down her “big dreams” . . . to serve her family.

At the same time, He sees the lost and the reality of heaven and hell. The blood of Jesus is the only way of salvation and the “unreached” must hear the gospel. Over 1.6 Billion people are still waiting to hear of the cross. According to UNICEF, there’s a minimum of 143,000,000 orphans in the world and many of these children are in desperate need. Unsaved people. Unborn babies. And so many real-life needs.

How can we balance this two-sided pull?

“Do not have your concert first, and then tune your instrument afterwards. Begin the day with the Word of God and prayer, and get first of all into harmony with Him.”

―Hudson Taylor, Missionary to China

The “healthy” motherhood & missions tug-of-war
If you’re a mission-minded mother (a Christian mom with a heart for others), I’m sure you’ve felt this tug-of-war between motherhood and ministry. Our children need to know that we love them; but they also need to know that we have a heart for others. Our kids need to know that we care about their needs, but they also need to know that they’re not the center of the universe, and that others have needs too. Finding the balance can be a struggle; but I believe the process of finding God’s daily divine balance is a healthy evaluation process, both for ourselves and for our family.

We all face this struggle . . .

Perhaps the phone rings, and your friend begins pouring our her heart about a desperate situation. Maybe a fragile marriage is falling apart, or someone at church was just rushed to the hospital. These needs are real, and often urgent. How do we find the right “combo” for each day, and each season of our lives? How do we balance these pressing needs with the ongoing “everyday” needs of our own family?

... I have found that the key to finding God’s balance is to stay in communication with God through prayer; however, He sees the full picture of both motherhood and ministry.

God sees the world’s needs, and He also sees the needs of our children. He can help us to see both in His divine daily balance, and God can speak to us . . . as a mom.

Often I try to be a super mom... when really it is just no use. I am a frail, forgetful sinner who is in need of a savior. I take comfort in knowing that God has redeemed me and while I will never be a "Super Mom", I will and can be a mom who abides in a loving, kind, powerful savior who loves me and gave himself up for me. Praise God!! (a small shout out to Pastor Daggs and his wonderful sermon!)

This was taken from www.abidingmom.blogspot.com

Super Mom vs Abiding Mom

The Super Mom:

Does

Tries to impress others

Is controlled by an agenda (curriculum, schedule, etc)

Her self worth is found in her accomplishments (clean house, perfect kids, the perfect bulletin boards, etc.)

Her peace is found in the “perfect” environment

She is discouraged by failure

She expects perfection from herself and others

She teaches her kids to be good

She is frustrated with her lack of spiritual fruit

She does things with her children

Her perspective is based on what is seen

She chooses quantity of activities


The Abiding Mom
Is (Psalm 46:10)

Pleases the Lord (Eph. 5:10, Proverbs 29:25)

Is controlled by the Holy Spirit: (Gal. 5:22-26)
(Uses curriculum & schedules as tools for orderliness so she's
more free to follow the spirit)

Her self worth is found in an accurate view of who she is in
Christ Jesus (Eph 2:10)

Her peace is found in Jesus in the midst of any storm (Is 26:3)

Failure reminds her that God's strength is made perfect in
weakness (2 Cor. 12:9-10)

She practices grace with herself and others.
(Eph 4:32)

She teaches her kids to be Godly (Proverbs 22:6)

She abides in Christ and bears much fruit (John 15:5)

She builds a relationship with her children (Deut 6:6-7)

Her perspective is based on what is unseen (Col 3:2)

She chooses the most excellent Way (I Cor 13)


Accusing

This is from my favorite blog "Passionate Homemaking" and was written by Natalie Didlake. It was so helpful to me...I love it and I love how the Word of God speaks. I love learning from how God teaches others!

She is writing about training her children in their speech.

"I decided to just pray and ask the Lord to show me how to teach them about their speech patterns. I began seeing more specific issues that I needed to tackle one at a time. Things like interrupting (being rude, I Cor. 13); arguing (Phil. 2:14); and using harsh tones (Pr. 15:1).

These were the easy ones. Some we are working through, and others I haven’t identified yet. But one stands out in my mind as a moment the Lord spoke crystal clear, through a scripture.

My children suddenly had begun coming to me about every 2 minutes, saying things like, “Mommy, R. hit me.” “Mommy, S. won’t share.” “Mommy, L. ate my snack.” I believed they were telling the truth. And I knew it was my job to serve justice. But really? Complaining about each other all day long? I knew it wasn’t the tone I wanted in our home, but could think of no concrete way to explain it to my toddlers.

Then I remembered what I read that morning, what Jesus told his disciples:

Do not think that I will accuse you to the Father. John 5:45

Accusing…that was it! My children were accusing each other. It’s so clear that Jesus is about helping, defending, and rescuing, not accusing. No wonder it bothered me so much! I researched and found out that Satan is called the “accuser of our brothers…who accuses them day and night before our God.” (Rev. 12:10)

I was so thrilled to see a solution emerge right from God’s mouth, his very word. I sat down my kids and explained to them the contrast between Jesus and Satan, and how they speak about people. Their eyes went wide when I told them Satan is an accuser who spends all day accusing us before God!

How incredible, for God to speak so directly to me and my children, as I struggle to train them!"

Mommy's Rules: Repent Quickly

Mommy's Rule # 3: Repent Quickly

I am so thankful that my sweet little girls are sensitive to when I am angry or annoyed. They call me out almost every time I sin towards them in my tone of voice. Kalena will say "Mommy, you are being kinda harsh." and then Sara might chime in "Mommy, God doesn't like harshness," or "Mommy, the Bible tells us never to be harsh." Although this is hard to hear in the moment, I have made a commitment to myself and God, never ever to let these moments go without quickly repenting for my sin. Although they may have disobeyed, and I want to point out their sin to them in the moment... I need to be an example of what I want them to do when they are called out on their sin. I pull the plank out of my own eye first. I repent with an apology, and then I ask the girls to pray that God would change my heart. Then I pray for myself and ask that God would remove the anger in my heart and help me to always be kind and gentle to my children.

Occationally I see the fruit of my quick repentance. The other day I told Kalena she was being harsh to Sara. Without another word from me, Kalena asked for forgiveness from Sara. It was so sweet and so encouraging. They do learn from my behavior. I am so thankful they are not just immune to my sin, but they know it is wrong and are not afraid to tell me. To God be the glory!!

Mommy's Rules: No Rushing.

Mommy's Rule #2: No Rushing.

Every mom knows the difference between a calm, collected but purposeful readying of the children, vs the chaotic mad rush to get out the door. I am a rush-a-holic... and I am coming clean and it is time I quit!! I am making a commitment to my children and my husband, (as I head quickly into the "soccer mom" role of getting different children to different places) to do it all without rushing. I want to remember: if I can't get there calmly, it is worth being late.

Things rushing does to me:

Makes me angry with my children. Why can't they get their shoes on faster and who just pooped in their diaper on the way out?

Makes me neglect discipline. Someone just disobeyed blatantly but if I take time to discipline the correct way we will be late!!

Makes me forgetful! Important things I have forgotten while running out the door: diapers, sippys, school supplies, paperwork, my phone, my purse, jackets, umbrellas, the stroller...etc.

Speed. I have delt with my lead foot tendencies in the past and thought I had this sin taken care of.
*(yes, it is a sin to speed..Romans 13:1-2 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. 2Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.)
But in the busyness of carting around all the little ones, I have seen this horrible sin rear it's ugly head in my life again!! It seems I may have to post "Romans 13" on my dash board next to my speedometer once again :)

What rushing does to my children:

Makes them anxious.
Makes them whiney towards me and each other.
Makes them unhappy and frustrated.
Makes them disobey
Makes them wet their pants :) (forgetting to go potty before we leave!)

Lord, help me to slow down in the busyness of the day. Help me to plan ahead, and remember to set timers and give myself reminders so I am not rushing around to get all the children in the car, out of the car or back into the house. Thank you for the wonderful attitudes, the peace and joyful countenance you give to my children and I when we get ready to leave the house orderly and calmly. Help me to trust you fully and not rely on my own strength to do this!

Mommy's Rules: Tone of Voice

We must enforce so many rules to our children... I thought I would start to keep track of the rules I have created for myself as a mommy.

Mommy's Rule #1: Always Keep a Gentle Tone of Voice. No exceptions!



Collossians 3:8
Put aside anger... put on compassion and kindness.

Talk softly and use the Rod. How easy is it for us to "talk harshly and spare the rod"? Far too easy for me, because the later is much easier, and convenient. Far too often I think to my self "f I am harsh enough they will obey me" or "If I am harsh enough, they won't ever do that again." These are lies from the pit of my sinful selfish heart!!

This is my first rule because of all the parenting rules one could possibly think of, this is the hardest rule for me to follow. I find myself failing in my tone of voice everyday. It is so easy to get angry (AKA: frustrated, impatient, needing to "get through to her") Wether it is "Get your shoes on, I've already told you twice", "Don't push her", "Don't spill that", "You spilled that!!", "Don't touch your poop", "Be nice", "get off her head" etc, I need to always remember to speak how Christ would want me to speak, with patients and loving gentleness. In times when a child needs to be quickly admonished, it is better not to speak at all, and to remove the child (gently) into a room or bathroom to discipline, than to speak with harshness. Our children are going to naturally want to become harsh when they become angry because of the depraved state we are in. Helpless and hopeless without the Lord. When we are harsh we are making it that much easier for our children to do what comes natural with their anger. It will take a gentle example and a lot of hard discipline and training to guide their little hearts to the biblical response to anger. Giving into our own anger in our tone of voice will teach them how to do the same. Even if we are just saying one word ("No") there are a hundred different tones you can use to say it. Staying always gentle and loving with our tone as a mommy will teach and train your children to be gentle and humble with their anger.

I love parenting Biblically. I love the Bible. I love my kiddoes. I love Jesus and the Word of our Lord, who gives us everything we
need for life and godliness. Thank the Lord!! Praise Him!!