Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Bonded to a Baby
God has created, within a mother and a baby, an amazingly fierce bond that develops into feelings that are stronger than I have ever felt. Some would call this something like a "maternal instinct" but really it is an act of God, who pours into a mothers heart, an extreme love for her infant. Recently I have realized how this bond changes as our children get older. I know that I am in a unique time right now with my babies, and that later in life I will look back on and try to remember the feelings I had during the infancies of my precious girls. As my 4 year old Kalena becomes more independent and more intrigued by the world around her, I feel the mother baby bond slipping into a new developed mother child bond. While the feelings are no less intense, in fact probably are increasing in intensity, it is just different.
I am going to try to describe these intense, maternal, God given, feelings of love I have had with Kalena, Sara and now Katelyn. I always want to be able to look back on this special baby time and remember these amazing feelings.
When bonded to a baby, you feel as though every part of the baby is a part of you. They are more of an extension of your own appendages rather than a separate being. When she cries, something physical happens in my heart and mind, drawing me to her with an intense desire to sooth her. Holding her close to me never feels close enough, and if I could hold her all day long I would. When she smiles and giggles, my heart fills with joy. I would sacrifice anything to keep her safe, even my own life. I wouldn't think twice before running into a burning building or into any sort of harms way to protect my baby. I often imagine the fight I would put up if any stranger tried to pull her from my arms. It would be messy, like something out of WWF. Probably the most intense feelings I have for her, is at night when i watch her sleep. my heart aches for her future to be a worshiper of our Great God. I pray with fervency that the Lord will have mercy on her and draw her into repentance and salvation.
I am so thankful for the gift God has given me in these precious little girls and I wish I could freeze time and keep them cuddled in my arms forever.